August 05, 2005

Reunited And It Feels So Good

I'm Drunk. For the first time in 5 weeks I put alcohol in my body. Cluster headaches be damned.
Is it a bad thing when your personality changes drastically because you haven't been drinking? Possibly. But I don't care. Tonight marked the return of Ketel Thursdays. The return of Hangover Fridays. The return of the Dan you all know and love (and sometimes are embarrased by when he stumbles across a room and can't form coherent sentences and occasionally passes out on the floor fully clothed after picking a loud fight with the coat rack because honestly, what does a coat rack know about the political ramifications of tort reform?).
I finally got it Kids. Bartender is back with his ex. Or as he put it: "I think we're dating. But I'm not sure. But I'm still sleeping with other people. You should get laid. I can't imagine why you don't just hook up. I mean, you're going to be 30 soon, and you'll think that you wasted all that time not having sex." Or, and this is just a theory, I could turn around and think I'm glad i didn't whore myself out to keep from feeling alone and then sex could actually mean something to me when I hit 30. Either way, really.
And just like that, I climbed out of the bell jar, squeezed myself into a pair of Diesels, called my nearest and dearest, and reclaimed my status as Alcoholic Emeritus.
A lot had me down: headaches, broken heart, moving stress, Medication-
enduced mood swings, lack of Junior, the death of a friend, the whole Bolton U.N. appointment, the realization that the Spice Girls Reunion really isn't going to happen... all things that no one should have to face, much less all at once.
Nothing a little alcohol can't fix.
I'm still on a little bit of a break. I have some major things to focus on in the next 2 months. But trust that we're heading directly back into Pope Bashing-President Hating-Power Drinking-Soap Box Territory.
Because really, who was that whiny bitch that was posting here for the last month or so? She sucked.


Epilogue: Waking up hung over this morning was like waking up in the arms of an Ex-Boyfriend - you know it's not good for you, but it feels So Fucking Right. You feel slightly sick, but at the same time, you really missed it.
That swimmy-headed feeling, that taste like a cat snuck in and shit in your mouth in the night, that slight confusion as to how you got into bed, that empty feeling in your stomach that can only be filled by a greasy breakfast (which will be evacuated from your stomach roughly 20 minutes later in the office bathroom), the rereading of the above post and not quite remembering writing it... God it's good to be back. If anyone needs me, I'll be under my desk trying not to puke.

5 Comments:

Blogger hofzinser said...

*knock knock knock*

Who could that be at the door?

It's Dan! He's come home!

6:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or, and this is just a theory, I could turn around and think I'm glad i didn't whore myself out to keep from feeling alone and then sex could actually mean something to me when I hit 30. Either way, really.


Love this. Good for you.

7:45 AM  
Anonymous bradders0201 said...

As you have leapt off the wagon, please imbibe vast quantities of alcohol in honor (note USA spelling!) of mine and Michael's 30th birthday celebrations this weekend. Shame you can't be here in the UK, we miss you but we're glad you found substence abuse again. PS: Rhys is loving you name checking the Spice Girls. Hmmm....

8:51 AM  
Blogger A* said...

There he is!!! Darling, I am so sorry to have missed the drunked (mispelling on purpose)festivities last night but LOVED the redec talk.
I guess that means I will be receiving my hung over phone call shortly.
Oh and you are so having wine with us tonight!!

8:54 AM  
Blogger allison said...

Heeee's baaaaaaack! And tonight he shall scalp the hair of the dog.

10:43 AM  

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