January 14, 2005

Good Luck

They had me break in my replacement today before I left. Fresh faced and over eager, she was hired at 4 p.m. today.
Midway through my explaining my caseload I transitioned to telling her about all the personal matters belonging to Soulless Fuckwad (just realized that I will most likely never have another Soulless Fuckwad story. I think I just peed myself a little.), she stopped and tried try to get me to speak candidly.
Poor Girl: "That sounds a bit off. I'm A lawyer, not a personal assistant."
Dan: (Stifling laughter) "It's not that bad. You get some good experience."
Poor Girl:"Why are you crying?"
Dan: (Barely containing hysterical laughter at this point, tears streaming down my face) "I'm just sad about leaving."
Poor Girl: "The other lawyers told me that it's a tense office. Is it that bad?"
Dan: "I won't lie. Soulless Fuckwad is a screamer. If you don't do something, even if its not rational or it's something you weren't told to do or it's something slightly illegal, he'll scream. Just develop a thick skin and keep saying in your head 'He's blowing off steam. It's not me.'"
Poor Now Incredibly Anxious Girl: "Oh My God! You could sugar coat it a little!"
Honey. I did.
If I lived in another city and owned a car and had driven it to work today, I would have peeled out my tires in the parking lot. Instead, I strapped on my ipod, turned it up to top volume, and headed home.

Update: I have had several inquiries as to the song playing on my ipod when I left work today. As much as I'd like to be all mysterious and zen-like and tell you all that you should imagine it in your head and score my exit however you see fit, I'll fess up: Movin Up for the first 3 blocks, Bittersweet Symphony right after. And, might I say, both great choices. I really should quit awful jobs more often.


Blogger MooCow said...

Get to the important shit...what song were you playing as you walked out?

9:43 PM  

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