December 01, 2005

With Frickin' Laser Beams Attached To Their Heads

A group of squirrels in a Russian park apparently descended from the trees and
bit a stray dog to death. And that's not all. Earlier in the year, according to Russian scientist Komosmolskaya Pravda, chipmunks terrorized cats in the region.
Does this sound a little James Bond to anyone else? Like the Russian are secretly developing an army of adorable yet vicious and deadly woodland creatures that will make their way into our hearts via our chest cavities?!
In point of fact, wasn't this the plot to
Leonard, Part 6?
And we laughed at poor Bill Cosby in 1987. If only we knew then what we know now.

It's a damned good thing I have seen roughly every bad movie ever made, and will be prepared when Russia's army of super squirrels finally learn to swim (or, God forbid, fly) and make their way to our verdant shores. If it were lobsters, It would be all too easy (as Leonard taught us: they can be repelled with butter). But squirrels are much, much trickier. Be prepared, People. That's all I'm sayin'.


Blogger Serra said...


You've been watching Rachael d'Slut again, haven't you?

3:07 PM  
Blogger LeahBDavis said...

As I mentioned earlier today, of course the article blames the carnage on "black squirrels" -- scapegoated just like the killer "Africanized bees" in Farenheit 9/11!

5:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was actually a pretty decent movie.

I thought it was killer tunas, though??? Oh well.

6:35 AM  

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