February 23, 2005

The First Rule About The Project Is: You Do NOT Talk About The Project. Or Email. About Anything. Or Have Contact With The Outside World.

The client whose case I am working on is paranoid about confidentiality. Really paranoid. Not stoner paranoid. Not Unabomber paranoid. I mean like tin foil hat-towel under the door-strip down to your underwear like you work in a meth lab-paranoid.
Said client has demanded of the higher ups at work that my group no longer be allowed to have access to the internet. No emailing anyone outside the office walls. No receiving email from outside the office walls. No search engines. No web pages. NOTHING. OK, that's not completely true. We can still log on to CNN.com. But we aren't allowed to see the images.
While I understand they might fear lawyers emailing sensitive information to the outside world (ok, maybe I don't understand that, because A) we all want to keep our jobs, or at least we did until they took away the internet, B) no one wants to be disbarred, and C) no one I know would give a damn about what I'm working on), I have yet to figure out how my reading Gawker or looking up phone numbers on Yahoo or restaurant reviews on citysearch or anything else I might read online would compromise the NSA-like confidentiality guidelines we have been placed under.
Honestly, I'm surprised I'm allowed to have a phone. Or leave the office at all until the project ends. After today's festival of paranoia, I'm relatively convinced there will be cots in the office tomorrow, and my friends and family will get vague letters regarding my taking a "sabbatical". I'm reminded of Hell Week at my fraternity, only with less beer. Come to think of it, more beer would help in this situation.
As such, my posts over the next three months will be limited during the day, to say the very least. In the event that something happens that warrants immediate update (and the likelihood of that is low, seeing as I won't be able to read the news or any other blogs), I will be IMming a friend on the outside (if they don't take away IM...Dear God don't let them take away IM), who will post for me.
Just don't tell the warden that I managed to get a letter to the outside, or I'll spend a week in the hole. And they'll rip out my voicebox.


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