February 15, 2005

Lots to Say, Part III: An Open Letter to Bob

Dear Bob,
I'm so excited to have you as a part of my group at Pxxx & Wxxxx. It was great fun training with you today, and I'm really impressed that a man of your advanced age is starting your career over. It must be daunting to be working with 30 people who graduated Law School a full 15 (15!) years after you did.
None of this, however, excuses your being such a giant Douchebag. Really. The smell of vinegar was sickening. Seriously Bob. I didn't believe it when the woman who performed my orientation this morning said "There's one guy... you'll know him." But man, was she right. I had you pegged from the first hand raising.
You were the type of person I hated in Law School. Check that. You were the type of person EVERYONE hated in Law School. No one wants to hear your running commentary on the computer training. No one wants to hear you ask wonderfully unnecessary questions like "So in Email, if I open the 'Sent' folder, will it show all the emails I've sent?" You know what's in that folder Bob, and it isn't grooming tips on how to rid oneself of an awful combover. That would be in your inbox, the one with my name in the return address line.
And when we bring up a menu, no one, not even the instructor, wants you to raise your hand and read the menu options aloud. We're lawyers Bob. We spent 3 years reading. Nor do we want to hear you ask if, like in every other program we used today or I assume you've used in your life, the "x" in the upper right corner will close the window, and that you're 'pretty sure' that dropping the file menu and choosing 'close window' will garner the same result. Hey Bob, I'm 'pretty sure' I want to punch you in the throat.


Blogger Serra said...

Oh, sweet Jesus, that dipshit from my last dose of computer training went to New York...

7:08 AM  

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