February 06, 2005

An Open Letter To The Couple Behind Me At The 10:20 Showing Of Boogeyman at AMC 25

Dear Couple Behind Me,
Good morning! I hope that you enjoyed the rest of your evening as much as you did last nights screening of the cinematic thrillride that is Boogeyman.
While I chose to see Boogeyman at the 42nd Street theater on a Saturday night specifically because it's an audience participation theater, I unfortunately have to take exception to your bringing your child with you last night. And by child, I mean infant who screamed throughout the whole of the movie. And by take exception, I mean hate you and curse you that a 14 year old with tourettes, insomnia, and a drum set purchased by a well meaning but misguided grandparent moves on the other side of your very thin bedroom wall.
I concede that Boogeyman is not Gone with the Wind, or even Jeepers Creepers 2, and the dialogue and storyline were not of paramount importance. However, every ridiculously calculated suspenseful moment telegraphed by a tight close up on someone's eyes or a doorknob and the silencing of the score was rendered impotent by your child's incessant screaming, which I can only assume was brought on by a combination ear infection/colic/diaper rash/realization that he was being raised by the type of people who bring an infant to a Saturday night screening of a horror movie.
What is important is the Saturday night horror movie at 42nd Street Surround Sound experience. I paid good money to hear every shout from the audience of "Don't go in there!" and "Girl! You Stoopit!", and the classic "Run, Bitch! Run!" But your poor baby was yelping so loudly that I could barely make out the cell phone conversation of the girl three seats down, much less a well timed "Oh No He Di-int!"

And while I appreciate your effort to walk the baby out of the theater every few minutes, the recap that was made loudly every time one of you returned to the theater was almost as bad. I had just lived through the crappy storyline once. No need to rehash it and open such a painful wound so immediately.
I wish you all the best in raising your child. But please, if you are thinking of having any more children, might I suggest you consider seeing something where your baby won't be drowning out the audience, like Million Dollar Baby? Or perhaps a foreign film, where your child can scream impunity while you and the rest of the audience read the subtitles. That is, assuming you can read.



Anonymous deb said...

An Open Letter to You,

I can certainly understand your concern for not wanting to sit in front of a screaming baby at the theatre. That's unfortunate.

What is ALSO unfortunate is your ignorance and lack of compassion.

To wish upon them a 14-year-old with Tourettes is insensitive and just plain stupid.

Try doing your research before ATTEMPTING to be clever. Tourettes is a neurological disorder, of which a rare 15% suffer from shouting out obscenities. Most others, including my 6-year-old son, suffer from the inability to control motor tics, such as blinking, shoulder rolling, cracking knuckles, and jaw grimacing.

Try watching a 6-year-old try to eat corn as his jaw stretches, and it falls out on his plate. It's heartbreaking.

True, the couple behind you needs a lesson on etiquette. However, they aren't the only ones.

A Proud Mom

8:31 AM  

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