October 17, 2005

Harriet! Sweet Harriet!

I've received a little flak for my aggressive approach to the investigation of Supreme Court Nominee Harriet Miers. It has been posited by a few of my loyal readers and friends, as well as a few complete strangers, that my partisan politics may get in the way of being part of a fair investigative team. That my hopes of finding skeletons buried in her closet behind all the sensible pantsuits will somehow corrupt the process.
Let me take this moment to respond, which, those of you who know me well, will realize is completely out of character for me when it comes to blogging. Usually I write and leave it. I don't comment, I rarely respond. This is an outlet for me, little else. But this time around I feel I may have to clarify some of my thoughts and actions.

So, with all due respect Everyone: Suck It.

Here's why:
My partisan politics are exactly what will make for a good investigation.
Think logically. If you were in court, would you rather have a prosecutor who believed the defendant committed a crime and would go after them with every fiber of their being? Or would you rather have a friend of the defendant who would be less inclined to dig deep, to use all the legal tactics available to them?
What's that? A neutral investigator? Good luck finding one. Anyone educated enough to be in the position of investigating a SCOTUS nominee is going to have formed an opinion. Call me crazy, but it seems that most people of late have sided with one party or the other politically. Something about the President being a "Uniter" comes to mind....
The other point is this: I'm not going to be making things up and turning them over. I feel like some of you have visions of me sitting at my desk late at night practicing my "Harriet Miers" signature like some highschooler forging notes from his mother until I perfect it, and then slapping it on a falsified memo that reads something like "Dear George, Great Coke party last night! Call me tomorrow and we'll get back to screwing the Jews, the Gays, the Blacks and The Hispanics! P.S. - Don't worry about that little 'issue' with the DCPD on Saturday. Everyone kills a hobo now and then. Laura and Cheney have nothing to worry about. Kisses, Harriet".
If I find something, you can bet your sweet ass I'm handing it over. Especially in light of recent revelations that Harriet has indicated she would vote to overturn Roe v. Wade (because it's not just about abortion... in fact, for the uneducated, it isn't about abortion at all. It's about the government's ability to invade your privacy and control the decisions you make with your life. Abortion was the medium, but the ruling affects everything you do in your daily life. And with the hard line religious tack favored by this administration, I'm all for keeping the government and the Church out of my business).
And the possibility remains that we won't find a damn thing, and that Harriet Miers will be cleaner than Al Roker's colon after an all you can eat Chipotle and ExLax bender.
Harriet Miers will be playing a key role in the shaping of this country and the way we live our lives. And I, personally, not as a Liberal, a Conservative, Republican or Democrat, but as a free thinking and intelligent citizen, want the people investigating her views to be as tenacious, dedicated and adversarial as possible.
The point is to bring to light any indications of where this woman stands politically and socially. And in light of John "I would recuse myself if a case came up where U.S. law differed with Vatican law" (WTF?!?!?!) Roberts, I have a lingering fear that Harriet may subscribe to a few newsletters that might not be so in line with the values that matter most to me and mine.
So yes, I'm biased. As biased as the day is long. But so are you. And so is everyone else. And the only way to get a fair investigation of someone supported by such an extremist administration is to have people of the equal but opposite extreme vet her.
So thanks for your civic concern everyone. But at the end of the day, I'm still going in there. And whether you like my politics and attitude or not, you still should give me a little credit for making a "So I Married an Axe Murderer" reference in the title.


Blogger deanne said...

FULL credit Dan, for the 'So I Married...' reference - I automatically had Mike Meyers in my head (make it stop!).

But I'm taking points away, because, hey I like chipotle, and you put my chipotle in the same sentence as Harriet. And I can't hear the name Harriet now without Mike Meyers popping up.

2:16 PM  
Blogger A* said...

Damn but I love you.


*Katherine has left the building*

2:31 PM  
Blogger allison said...

Yeah, what she said.

Dude, you're smart. I am glad I'm on your side.

2:25 PM  
Blogger Cyrus said...

You know, I think I'm starting to kind of support her nomination. Now, before you go muckraking through my garbage dumpster...Here's what I'm thinkin'.

1. Her nomination has angered the fundamentalists. They expected a nominee with a proven anti-choice and anti-gay track record, for both security and as a statement of christian power.

2. Her nomination has angered conservative Latinos who expected a Latino nominee. This may open Latino eyes a bit to their place in the Republikan party.

3. The whole "lunch lady" thing she's got going on is sure to give us all snarky blogging material for years to come.

4. Her nomination has angered the white supremacists - a substancial base of the Republikans - because of her past support of affirmative action.

5. Her nomination has really backed the adminstration into a corner. By not just coming out with another Scalia, the administration looks weak. And we all know that the only strength of Bush has been his ability to LOOK like he has balls.

6. She really looks like she could be converted to a lover of the gays and recruited as a fag hag...you know...like Tammy Faye was. We just need to get Jim J. Bullock employed as a SCOTUS paralegal or something.

7. I'm sure that the alternatives suck at least as much as she does. I'm a little more inclined to go with the unknown than another Fascist like Scalia or Thomas. She really seems to me to have so little conviction or confidence, that I think she'll probably just go with what the other justices are doing.

8. Her nomination has angered the crazy crazies from the just crazies of the GOP. I'm sure Santorum thinks she should be at home, pregnant and baking a casserole.

Just some thoughts.

4:26 PM  

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