December 19, 2004

Could You Turn Here?

When a cabbie blatantly ignores my request to get off 9th Avenue to avoid the parking lot that is Saturday night tunnel traffic, and we end up sitting there watching the meter rise with the speed of the death toll in Iraq, it's completely cutomary to stiff him a tip. It is not rude or inconsiderate on my part.
In point of fact, he's lucky I didn't while away my time in traffic by calling INS from my cell. Your right to call in a false claim to the Department of Homeland Security is right there on the Passenger's Bill of Rights, directly below "You have the right to be acknowledged by your driver when you tell him what route to take, instead of being ignored in favor of the phone call he is currently engaged in. Remind him gently: 'Sir, you are not at home. You are working. I am paying you. I don't have your number, otherwise I would call you from back here, wait for you to pick up call waiting and tell you which way to go, seeing as the only thing it appears you can hear is your fucking hands free ear piece. So hang the fuck up and drive.' "

I'm a nice person. I really am.


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