In Which I Vow To Never Drink Again

Drinking and being Outspoken Dan with superiors at work is a double edged sword. Apparently Associate who promised more substantive work was not, like yours truly, drunk and talking out his ass, and suddenly at 2 p.m. today I was in a meeting that basically amounted to "We are increasing your responsibility 3 fold. We need someone who is not afraid to ask questions and be a little blunt, and you're the person for the job. Oh, and P.S.: say goodbye to sunlight and your life."
The Good: Increased visibility. Chance to prove myself. Might get opportunity to boss people around.
The Bad: I'm lazy and would rather make the same money for doing the mindless drivel I am currently engaged in.
The Ugly: Anne Coulter on the cover of Time Magazine. I mean, bitch is complaining that they 'distorted' the photo? They digitally removed your horns, claws and that unsightly swastika tattoo, Anne. Be gracious!